I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
