i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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