i think my mom watched the whole time
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
