im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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