anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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