So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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