I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
