dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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