Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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