I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
