the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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