Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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