I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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