who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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