if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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