fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize