You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
