that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
