so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The adults are the big ones right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
