you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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