hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
