Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
