I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
