My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
