dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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