Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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