I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
