You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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