i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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