so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
