On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
