so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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