I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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