..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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