I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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