Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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