The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
