found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
