I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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