omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Houston, we have a blender
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
