My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
