I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
