Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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