After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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