I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
