i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize