I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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