What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
