i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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