We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
