is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize