why didn't you poke me back
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
