JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
