your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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