so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
