so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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