We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
