their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
