we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
