You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
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That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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