You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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