She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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