i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Non-Jews are for practice
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
